Monday, May 28, 2018
This particular word has been used time and again by us, at times with reason and within reason while other times very mindlessly and casually this particular word is used or rather thrown around.
I personally have a habit of telling this to my family(you know the ones whom I love, and care about that includes not only my relatives but also my friends whom I love a lot. They are the family that I choose to have and keep around and were not forced upon me due to blood or marriage. These are the people, for whom I will go to war for without a second thought. So I have always told this to "my people" that you need me, you get me. I am just a phone call or text away anytime of the day and any day of the week. So this weekend was kinda hectic due to my office work and I had taken up this writing challenge and was working on it like a crazed individual and finally was done by Saturday, 3 AM in the morning . I was getting ready for some much needed shut eye when I get a text from a junior of mine on facebook.
"HI" and that was it. I kid you not I thought of ignoring the text and calling her in the morning. And with this stupid plan I got all my pillows and stuffed toys in a row and was about to jump on the train for dream town when I remembered the time. It was a 3 AM text. "Shoot me" I thought to myself and jumped up to get my phone from the table where it was charging. "Heya kiddo what up?" I texted but got no immediate reply and then I looked up and saw "last seen 7 minutes ago". And I wanted to slap myself for two very different reasons.
One was cause I thought I was over-reacting and the kid had just pinged cause she saw me online and that was that or it could be the dreaded door number 2 and she actually needed help and I was a selfish sleep hungry moron and I deserve to be hanged till the cows come home. You see I have had this sort of "can I talk to you at 3 A.M." cravings and always had Mimi or some friend of mine or other to help me. Yes people I too have sad days, bad days, absolutely crappity crap days and I deal with them like any other person. I cry and shout and crib and nag and howl at the moon all the while I have some trusted peer with me, to catch me when I fall. I had promised myself long back that I will try and be as good to others as my people have been to me but I guess I too break my promises. I was real disappointed with myself. I felt so bad that I was close to tears, even now while writing about it I can feel my eyes stinging and my throat closing up. I just could not believe that I did this and then suddenly my phone vibrates.
I hurriedly try to unlock my phone, but mistype my password two times. I take a deep breath and type again and finally get it right.
Her- Hi Di, got a minute?
Thursday, May 24, 2018
This the definition that one gets when you type “Talent” in Google.
Ask me what my talent is. Don’t be shy, ask me.
Awwww. So glad you did.
So I dissed my ex-boss while I am on a job for my current boss and the dissing happened to my may-be-not-sure-yet-future-boss!!!
Yes people I am that bloody talented.
Monday, May 21, 2018
I am at my wits end, I kid you not world, I really really am. By now I hope you all are well acquainted with my over the top drama queen tendencies and my lack of filter which leads to over sharing and me leaving no stone unturned to embarrass myself, but what can I say I learnt that from my Mimi. She pulls my leg, pokes fun at my expense & has a whale of a time attacking me with all things pun-ny and funny, so yeah like Mother like Daughter, she taught me to poke fun at myself so that no one else can. And I, like the good little kid I am, intend to take her work further and make joke like mountains out of everyday molehills.
So any way, yesterday I had decided to ask people, who are not really my own people (cause my people are all biased, actually they are not, they criticize the living day lights out of my works but also offer their shoulders for me to cry my literary tears on too , love my peps), so as I was saying, I was letting some strangers read my writings and judge it freely, what can I say I was feeling magnanimous. I texted this certain crush of mine (wink*wink). I wrote to him a grand crush letter. And no it did not start with a dear darling adorable crush, oh how I wish I could write to him like this, but never mind the what ifs and what could be. We are now talking about what actually happened people. I texted him and asked if he would be kind enough to be my very own academic guinea pig to which his prompt reaction was "huh?". Yeah what can I say my guy is a very practical, take no bullshit , so pragmatic that it hurts my eyes kinda guy. So I explained that I want you to read my writings and give me advice on what I should or shouldn't write. And surprisingly he was prompt with his reply, (you might just think why is this fact so worth mentioning, you see this guy takes his merry time to reply for he pretty much treats me like this juvenile delinquent he is babysitting, aww be still my beating heart.) So anyway his prompt reply was
Me - Aww thank you so much, will be sending you the rest of my writings... wait what! What do you mean by no?
He- No means no, cause you have other people to help you who I think are better suited to help you.
(Note- What my crush said was kinda true, I do have people in my life who are very good at giving me advice on all things writings, but I wanted practical and pragmatic people reading my work too, at least that is what we are gonna call it and justify me pestering my crush and trying to spend some quality texting time with him.
So I write- Please be my literary guinea pig and help me in my quest to reach for the stars. Please, please, please, like pretty please, sugar coated, sprinkler decorated, cherry on top wala please be mine.
(Yeah I was trying my hand in double meaning talk, what can I say desperate times call for desperate measures.)
But he being he replied with a big, fat, resounding NO.
Ps no worries I have high hopes I will scale the high walls around his heart, fight the crocodiles around his tower, slay the dragon guarding his sleeping beauty of a heart. So people wish me luck!
Saturday, May 19, 2018
(Scene 1, An anonymous support group meeting is going on and we see our heroine as part of it)
Heroine- Hi my name is Manali Dey, and I am now part of the grown up world.
People sitting around me- Hi Manali .
Then I see this guidance counselor looking like person, you know the ones you see in the movies.
Counselor- Welcome Manali, so tell us how have you been adjusting to the world of adulting.
Me- I have joined this place where I have to work a full office day...
(Cue in gasps from the crowd and after accepting their sympathy I nod at them and continue) There have been days when I have had to survive office with only 3 hours of sleep, no chocolates and zero gossip. (And one of the individuals from the circle cries out)
Random Individual from the circle- Ohh the horror!
Guidance Counselor- Manali, you have been a stellar example of a reformed A-Kid-For-Ever-And-Ever-
Syndrome. I am very glad that you have finally accepted yourself as a grown up person. I think it's about time you don't have to come to counselling and can move on in your life. Here is your "cured" pin and from now on....
And she is cut off by my cell phone
Me - I am so sorry. (And I look down at my phone and see it says Inside Voice calling) Wait what? How can that be?(I ask those people sitting around me)
Another random person- Well how would we know, this is after all your dream.
Me(thinking out loud) Ohh, now everything makes so much sense.
(Pick up the bloody phone, screams my phone)
Me(picking up the call) Hello?
Me( replies from the other side of the phone) Check out Instagram.
I do and see the new trailer for Jurassic World.
And I quickly call my Mimi up.
Mimi- Hello? Is everything ok?
Me- Jurassic World is releasing on the 23rd of June and you are taking me to the first day first show and buying me popcorn and a big coke and I am thanking you for it.
Mimi- Okay, you are welcome dear. Have a great day ahead.
And after I disconnect my phone I realize that I am in the office and my favorite boss is standing behind me with a "What just happened?" expression on his face. I open my mouth to explain and he promptly says "I am pretty sure I don't wanna know. Do whatever makes you happy. And yeah good work on the last reports" and leaves. Wise man he is you see.
Ps anyone who wants to join me is welcome, just leave your grown up soul behind cause it's Jurassic Park and things are bound to get loud, I mean fun... like really really fun.
Thursday, May 17, 2018
Am I the only one or does it happen to everyone, once in a while?
When office feels like a mad house with no end to be seen for what seems to be in the near future or ever and then there are other times when the only thing going around is well, ahem ignore my French but a big fat nothing. In the second case its a day that keeps on dragging and dragging and then some more of the previous mentioned dragging. You don't even have the energy to think or knock your brain with enough power to make it search for better words let alone write it.
So yeah, on this wonderful dragging drag of a dragtastic drag day, I am feeling bored out of mind. Don't get me wrong, I am one of those self-proclaimed narcissistic loners who can talk to myself (in my mind obviously) till the cows come home. But today it's just not happening, so i have decided that now I am going to do something that I promised myself I will never ever do. I will let my mind do its worst, kill all sorts of people whom I don't like in the office, write my head off about all things mindlessly unimportant and of course text random trivias to my friends, all on company time. You see some years back, many companies in Japan have started this new system where they give their non-smoking employees an extra 6 days of paid holidays every year. The reason, I know you didn't ask but I will say it any way, cause I am bored. So again, the reason is the simple fact that the smoking employees enjoy many smoking breaks through out the day, while the non-smokers are not so lucky. They suffer from passive smoking and work more minutes than the other groups, so Booo to the smokers. But now there is the 6 days of holidays that make up for all the lost minutes. May this can be used as an incentive now for the smokers to give up smoking. Its cost effective , healthy and you get time off!!!
So it's a Win-Win-Win situation.
Yeah I am pretty sure my English Professors are all rolling in their metaphorical graves, for I have finally lost my mind and am writing random stuffs.
But then again it was this or plunging a pen in my neck with the hope that it finds a vein big enough to cause some damage and slowly watch myself bleed out.
I guess mindless rambling is better.
Ps in other news creepy phone stalker is giving me mean looks, one of these days I will give him a maniac like smile just to see him die of a heartattack, but that I am afraid has to be a story of a different day. For now this is Manali Dey signing off cause my boss's boss is coming my way. Work Mode on!!!